Writing
Sharing the conversation.
Fifty-plus essays on depression, anxiety, trauma, resilience and the small daily practices that help.
depression
When trauma does not simply fade away: Understanding PTSD
Most people will experience a deeply distressing or frightening event at some point in their lives. War, violent crime, natural disasters, serious accidents, abuse, or sexual violence can leave emotional scars long after the moment itself has passed. For many, the shock gradually eases with time. But for others, the experience continues to intrude into […]
20 May 2026
depression
Talk about it
One of the biggest obstacles to people getting treatment for depression is stigma. Because many people still feel ashamed of suffering from depression, they are reluctant to admit they have it. They don’t – or won’t – talk about it. Now, if you break your arm, your friends and family will sympathise with you and, […]
9 May 2026
anxiety
The very real fear of public speaking
Making a speech is right up there with death, divorce and snakes as one of people’s absolutely worst nightmares. Just the thought of getting up in front of a room and having to say a few words can send the pulse racing. Actually doing it can cause palpitations, raised blood pressure, and severe perspiration even […]
30 April 2026
life hacks
Revelling in a heart attack
For he who lives more lives than oneMore deaths than one must die.Oscar Wilde – The Ballad of Reading Jail At the Virgin Active Gym on the corner of Main and Nichol, at 5.30 pm on Monday, 9 March 2015, I died. Ironically, it happened while I was getting into shape – it was a […]
28 April 2026
depression
Victims of everything
There’s a moment in almost every conversation – at work, over dinner, in a queue – when the tone shifts. Someone starts explaining why things aren’t working out. The boss, the economy, their upbringing, bad luck. It’s rarely dramatic. It’s familiar. And if you listen closely, it reveals something deeper: a quiet, pervasive habit of […]
23 April 2026
depression
I discover a cure for loneliness
I had been in Mooi River in KwaZulu-Natal for two months when I moved into a cottage on Adam’s farm. My social life was completely non-existent. Apart from the odd lunch on a weekend with Adam and family, I spent all my time either at work or looking for somewhere to live or reading at […]
22 April 2026
anxiety
The enigma of antidepressants
Antidepressants are widely used and have helped millions of people – but they are still something of a puzzle in modern medicine. Despite decades of research, scientists are still debating exactly how they work, why they help some people and not others, and what their long-term role should be in treating depression. To understand the […]
16 April 2026
anxiety
Our ancient alarm system
There is a guard that walks beside every one of us. It has no name, no face, and yet it has saved your life more times than you will ever know. It is your ancient alarm system. Long before cities, before language shaped into poetry and law, before even the first fire was tamed, our […]
8 April 2026
depression
Dale Carnegie and depression
One of my all-time favourite books is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It should arguably be required reading in every educational institution. In an increasingly crowded and interconnected world, the ability to relate well to others may be one of the most essential skills we can develop. “Yes,” I hear […]
1 April 2026
life hacks
Improving your self-esteem by mimicking giving up smoking
The first book I wrote – published by a real publisher, not a vanity project – was about how to give up smoking. The method I outlined was simple, and it came to me during a year of studying psychology at university. Smoking is a revolting habit. It gives you bad breath, makes your clothes […]
30 March 2026
depression
Why modern life is fertile ground for depression
Modern life has brought incredible convenience and connection. Yet at the same time, it has quietly created the perfect conditions for rising levels of depression. At the heart of the issue is a mismatch. We humans evolved for slower, more social, and more predictable environments, yet now live in a fast, digital, always-on world. The […]
26 March 2026
life hacks
Live every day as if it were your last – one day you’ll be right
At 5:30 pm on Monday, 9 March 2015, at the Virgin Active gym on the corner of Main and Nicol, I died. I was on the step machine. The gym was alive with the usual after-work energy - a steady hum of movement and conversation. It was peak hour. Packed. Then, suddenly, I collapsed. As […]
20 March 2026
depression
Six steps to supporting a loved one with depression
When someone you care about is living with depression, it’s natural to want to help. You might feel a strong urge to “fix” things, offer solutions, or cheer them up. But depression isn’t something that can be solved with quick advice or a pep talk. The most meaningful support often comes from patience, understanding, and […]
18 March 2026
depression
My BackABuddy campaign
In 2015, I went to the gym like any ordinary day. I didn’t come home. I had a heart attack and died on the gym floor. By sheer chance, a doctor was training nearby. He used a portable defibrillator to restart my heart and saved my life. Two years later, that same man took his […]
11 March 2026
life hacks
Why are we so hard on ourselves?
Low self-esteem is probably one of the stranger neuroses we inflict on ourselves. We all go through stages where we actively don’t like ourselves … often for some frivolous behaviour or some stupid remark we made, or something we forgot to do. But in a well-balanced individual, it doesn’t last, and they carry on living […]
2 March 2026
anxiety
Which torture would you prefer?
I recently came across an interview I did back in 2008 for Business Day with Murphy Marobe, then CEO of Kagiso Media. As a young man, he was a political activist and became a target of the apartheid security police, who apprehended and tortured him. When the interview wrapped up and we were saying our […]
26 February 2026
depression
Understanding depression: More than just feeling sad
Depression is one of the most misunderstood mental health conditions. Too often, it’s reduced to the idea of “feeling sad” or “going through a rough patch.” While sadness can be part of depression, the reality is far more complex - and far more important to understand. At its core, depression is a medical condition that […]
24 February 2026
depression
Why I am interested in the topic of depression
In a previous life I did a year of psychology at Wits, while getting a BA degree. Yet I don’t remember a word of it. Nor did I learn anything I can recall benefitted me in dealing with life, post university. I am now writing a book on depression and am experiencing déjà vu as […]
27 September 2025
depression
Words that capture the very essence of depression
Oftentimes language is a mirror that reflects how different people and cultures experience the world. In English, the word depression has become a clinical shorthand for a medical diagnosis, a global public health concern, and, for many, a personal battle. Although it is also often used very loosely. When a child can’t have his birthday […]
16 September 2025
depression
The silence that hurts: Confronting suicide in Prevention Month
September is Suicide Prevention Month, a time when the world collectively pauses to confront a subject often cloaked in silence and stigma. Suicide remains one of life’s most devastating paradoxes: an irreversible, permanent act, chosen to escape what is almost always a temporary problem. It goes against the most primal instinct we have – to […]
8 September 2025
depression
What is depression?
Depression is a mood disorder that causes persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, and loss of joy. It differs from the mood fluctuations that people regularly experience in life. Major life events, such as the death of a loved one or the loss of a job, can trigger depression. However, depression is distinct from the negative […]
4 September 2025
depression
Exercise – nature’s antidepressant
Exercise is often called nature’s antidepressant because physical activity can naturally alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety by releasing feel-good endorphins, improving mood, and reducing stress. It can also provide a distraction from worries and promote better sleep, all contributing to improved mental well-being. Endorphin release: Exercise triggers the release of endorphins, which are natural […]
19 August 2025
life hacks
Small changes – big results
I’m not sure why, but in the last few months, whenever I have been waiting for a result in something – anything – I have been negative. Like, will someone call about some proposal? Or will my quote be accepted? Is load shedding going to hit our suburb on the weekend? Is petrol going up […]
5 August 2025
depression
Victim of depression
Depression is a topic that could fill a library. It would therefore be presumptuous to assume I can solve any profound issues you might be having in one chapter. But what I can do is change your thinking to the point that you end up managing your ‘blues’ a lot better than you have been. […]
22 July 2025
life hacks
When you can’t stop ruminating
Most people ‘ruminate’ during the normal process of thinking about things. That means they indulge in repetitive thinking. If you consider a problem from different angles or think about it a couple of times – that is normal. If. however, you find yourself thinking the same thought over and over, that’s not good for your […]
18 July 2025
depression
‘Depression can only be cured by therapy’
“Therapy is great - but don’t rely on it alone. Don’t put the responsibility of overcoming depression on someone else. Taking responsibility doesn’t guarantee overcoming it - but not taking responsibility guarantees you won’t.” Dr Hussein Naji As a child, my mates and I created our own fun. We bought marbles, made catapults, rode bikes, […]
11 July 2025
anxiety
Why it’s difficult to eliminate anxiety
Our DNA is reluctant to give up behaviours with a high survival value, and anxiety is right up there with the top ones. Imagine two Homo sapien ancestors eating a meal of raw squirrel 300 000 years ago. One enjoys the sunset so much that he ignores the rustling behind a bush. His meal partner, […]
9 July 2025
life hacks
Isn’t it odd that we focus on criticism rather than praise
Low self-esteem is probably one of the stranger neuroses we inflict on ourselves. We all go through stages where we actively don’t like ourselves … often for some frivolous behaviour or some stupid remark we made, or something we forgot to do. But in a well-balanced individual, it doesn’t last, and they carry on living […]
7 July 2025
depression
The last of the human freedoms …
We all know someone who is negative about everything, who finds any reason to be depressed. In fact, if you have a social circle, hopefully not shrinking like mine, you probably know a number of such individuals. In some cases, they have justification, as they have had tough lives, illnesses, deaths of loved ones and […]
19 June 2025
depression
It will be better tomorrow. The role of busyness in finding purpose
A quote from poet, writer, and essayist Maya Angelou provides much food for thought on the topic of depression: “No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.” In my experience, having a purpose is one of the best ways of combatting depression. And […]
10 June 2025
life hacks
Never forget the power of hope
In 2000 I had a stroke that paralysed the left side of my body, and what I remember most vividly after the shock of it all subsided is how I developed a craving for hope, which dwarfed any junkie’s craving for his next fix. I was worse than obsessed. As nurses, doctors, cleaners, ambulance operators […]
5 June 2025
life hacks
Pursue your own purpose
“If you are going to have a purpose, make sure it is yours.” – Anon. This does smack of common sense and may seem obvious, yet it is easy to get caught up trying to be and act the way others expect us to. Too often, without thinking, we try to achieve our parents’ or […]
21 May 2025
depression
Champions all: high functioning but clinically depressed
It is interesting to read about Andre Agassi’s depression. He was the number one tennis player in the world – what did he have to be depressed about? And in the same vein, we have Michael Phelps the prolific Olympic gold medal swimmer. He finished on 23 gold medals. But he, too, was prone to […]
30 April 2025
depression
The purpose panacea
Anyone who has listened to one of my talks on depression, will know I believe strongly in having a purpose to combat depression. Funny, but not many people disagree with me. As to whether they go off and find a purpose, is of course another question. However I have come up with my own question […]
23 April 2025
Uncategorized
What lies beneath joy?
At the core of happiness and well-being lies purpose. Without a clear sense of purpose, you’re like a ship without a rudder, drifting aimlessly in the sea of life. Your purpose is your why. It’s what gets you up in the morning and keeps you going when things get tough. It’s the driving force behind […]
11 April 2025
anxiety
Why it’s difficult to eliminate anxiety
Our DNA is reluctant to give up behaviours with a high survival value, and anxiety is right up there with the top ones. Imagine two Homo sapiens ancestors eating a meal of raw squirrel 300 000 years ago. One enjoys the sunset so much that he ignores the rustling behind a bush. His meal partner, […]
30 January 2025
depression
Finding a purpose in unexpected places
My new friend, Timmy, was a skilled glider pilot. We met at work. When I became friendly with him, I was in the process of getting divorced. On a Friday while having a beer at work he invited me to go gliding with him on the weekend. I told him I had the kids. “Bring […]
21 January 2025
life hacks
What does anxiety mean to you?
If you look up synonym for the word anxiety, depending on where you are looking up, the first word you get is worry. Worry is a common human emotion; everyone experiences worry at one time or another. Some of course more than others. It can be when faced with a problem at work; before taking […]
21 October 2024
opinion
Regrets, I have a few … Frank Sinatra
Stranger than fiction is a cliché often applied to life. In this case I’m talking about what we regret. Paradoxically we don’t regret the things we have done, no matter how disgusting or awful. What we do regret is what we DIDN’T do. Take a moment and think about it. How often have you endured […]
18 October 2024
opinion
Second chances? Fine by me
At 5.30 pm on Monday 9 March 2015 at the Virgin Active Gym on the corner of Main and Nichol roads I died. To say it was a shock is an understatement. But what it did give me was another chance – an opportunity to restructure my beliefs, hopes and aspirations. Nothing seems quite as important as […]
16 October 2024
opinion
Let’s talk about stereotyping
Society, without trying, inadvertently reinforces male stereotypes. Take your wife or girlfriend out for dinner. At the end of the meal get her to ask for the bill. Nine times out of 10the waiter will bring it to you (the man), even though asked by the womanfor the bill. Which, of course, reinforces the male’s […]
15 October 2024
opinion
Mantras for a better life
When you find yourself at a loose end with nothing immediate to do, ask yourself: What am I practicing?The reason is, because whatever it is you are practicing – is what you are going to get good at. Scrolling on your phone? You’ll get good at that. Not going to gym? You’ll get good at […]
1 October 2024
depression
Famous people with depression
Given the significant number of people who have depression, it should come as no surprise that many celebrities too have mental wellness issues. Dwayne Johnson He’s one of Hollywood’s highest paid actors, but “The Rock” recently opened up about depression to the Express, a British newspaper. “Struggle and pain are real,” said Johnson, who saved […]
26 September 2024
depression
Are you a victim?
My mum – bless her – just couldn’t get the weather right. If it was raining and the farmers were rejoicing; she would instead wonder about all the shack dwellers who would be flooded out. “Do you know any of these people you are worried about, mum?” I would ask. “Oh, there are probably millions […]
25 September 2024
opinion
On ageing
What causes depression in older people? The three main causes in older people are poor physical health, social isolation, and loss in old age. But what is the relationship between age and depression? Studies have identified age differences in the prevalence of depression and anxiety. Younger adults, 16–29 years, are more likely to be affected […]
23 September 2024
suicide
Suicide Prevention Day: 10 September
The paradox of suicide is it is an irreversible, permanent solution to what is, inevitably, a temporary problem. It is also an incredible contradiction to the inherent motivation every living thing has to survive and stay alive at all costs. If someone held your head under water, eventually you would kick, scratch, bite and do […]
10 September 2024
Uncategorized
Get a dog
Dale Carnegie, in his seminal book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, asks, ‘Why do we like dogs?’ The answer is because dogs like us. They are completely non-judgmental and love us unconditionally. They are never bothered if you didn’t work hard at your job; spend money stupidly or embarrass yourself in company – […]
5 September 2024
Uncategorized
Finding a purpose
In 1946, Viktor Frankl wrote a book called Man’s Search for Meaning, about life in the death camps of Germany. He was an Austrian psychologist who ended up in Auschwitz. At one stage he was part of a crew that collected prisoners from rail trucks as they arrived. He tells how it was impossible to […]
27 August 2024
Uncategorized
There are no depressed people on a sinking lifeboat
Don’t you find reading about celebrities who commit suicide, depressing? I do. Not because I’ll miss them. My reason is much shallower. It is because I feel my own life pales when compared to the fame, talent, ridiculous amounts of money and beautiful partners they always seem to have. Yet, inexplicably, they take their own […]
26 August 2024
Uncategorized
Talk about it
Let’s look at what is considered one of the biggest obstacles to people getting treatment for depression. Because many people feel there is a stigma to suffering from depression, they are reluctant to admit they get it. They don’t or won’t, talk about it. Now if you break your arm, your friends and family will […]
19 August 2024