The paradox of suicide is it is an irreversible, permanent solution to what is, inevitably, a temporary problem. It is also an incredible contradiction to the inherent motivation every living thing has to survive and stay alive at all costs.

If someone held your head under water, eventually you would kick, scratch, bite and do everything in your power to get another breath. And it would be instinctive – your body wants to live. Yet someone committing suicide effectively holds their own head under water, until they drown.

At last count, I have lost four good friends and about 10 acquaintances to suicide. In the friends’ cases I had no idea any of them suffered from depression. In all of them my first reaction, which I think is probably the universal response, was of surprise and shock.

And nothing that emerged in the aftermath of all the cases, seemed sufficient reason for any of them to kill themselves.

It is an enormously complex issue, but as this is Suicide PREVENTION Day – how can it be prevented, given that anyone contemplating (known as suicide ideation) taking their own life, rarely broadcasts their intention to do so?

Given depression is the number one reason for suicide, perhaps it is a good place to start. One of the biggest obstacles to people getting treatment for depression is, because many people feel there is a stigma to having depression, they are reluctant to admit they suffer from it. They don’t or won’t talk about it.

Inevitably by not talking about it, it is going to get worse. Because they won’t admit to suffering from it, no-one thinks of counselling or assisting them to deal with it. So, the first drive must be to get rid of any stigma attached to having depression. It must be seen as being another illness, and like other illnesses, it must be treated.

By destigmatising depression, people who suffer from it will realise it is not an identity, it is an experience. It is not someone you are, but rather something you go through. It is not permanent, no matter how much it feels like it is.

Interestingly on the SADAG (South African Depression and Anxiety Group) website, across the landing page it has the word HOPE, in capitals. When someone suffers from depression, their biggest fear is there is no way out from this terrible condition.

The word Hope signifies there is one.

The success rate for different treatments to combat depression usually depends on who you are talking to – but there is more and more acceptance the treatments for depression have considerable success, regardless of the severity. At the very worst depression can be managed, just as people manage their cholesterol levels, blood
pressure and diabetes, etc.

For some reason a lot of people are loath to admit to being on anti-depressants, or ‘happy pills’, as they sometimes disparagingly are known as. But people take pills for so many ailments and are not embarrassed by it. So why be uncomfortable because you are on anti-depressants, which are essentially for a body part, your brain?

The saddest description of suicide I have come across is: It is taking whatever is tormenting you, multiplying it by 10, and leaving it for your loved ones to deal with, because you have taken yourself out of the equation.

If you need help call SADAG’s Suicide Crisis Helpline 0800 567 567 and talk to someone.